Monday, October 19, 2009

I want to go to College for the rest of my lIfe

Not really.... But I haven't had this much fun in a long time. This song/video describes my weekends perfectly. Its everything the movies and the media makes it out to be.
The best part is chilling with my down-to-earth homies

I'm not going to say which college I go to. (not yet anyway) just know:
Its in North Carolina- even though most people are from the North
Its private highly selective- you have to be smart to get in
Its 90% Caucasian- which is less than 10% black
Its very expensive- scholarships are a must

Ten most interesting things I experienced at college

10. Meeting people. I met a hundred and ten people. They all recycled the same five damn names
Girls: Jessica, Emily, Amanda, Sarah, Jennifer
Boys: Eric, James, John, David, Chris

You can yell any one of these names and twenty people would turn their heads. The great part is if you forget someone's name just pick from the five most times your probably right.

9. School work. uuuuuuhhhhh yeah. My teacher opps correction professor assigned a paper on how our culture affects us. WHAT and then was surprised when people weren't sure what to right about.

8. People moving laundry. They said, "gently move the clothes if you need the washer." How about you gently remove my foot out your ass if you touch my laundry.

7. Drunk people. Im not gonna lie, I been one of them. Time isn't wasted when your getting wasted sooooo fill up my cup.

6. People breaking the rules already. Luckily our RA doesn't care. But we have suite in our dorm that has an unmistakable alcohol smell when you walk by. There's also a girl who has a rabbit.

5. No roommate, but some weird ass suite-mates. So I lucked out and got a room to myself. But there are some sheltered people here.

Jo: Whose the most attractive black woman in your opinion?

Terry: Hail Berry

Not Halle Berry. he pronounced it HELL BERRY. Where are these people from?

4. Did you just start an argument with the teacher? I was just shocked that these nerds really just tried to argue with the professor. In Statics nonetheless. Math is Math its not debatable but they really did try.

3. Cookout. Its a burger joint in the south that stays open 24hrs. The best part is its so cheap. Every time I go we pack like seven people in someone's car and make a huge order. They are always like, "is that all in were like no."

2. Parties of course.
Party themes:
Golf hoes tennis pros.-guys dress like golfers girls like tennis players
jungle party.-wear animal print
highlighter party.-wear a white-tee and right on people's shirts with highlighter
Togo party- self-explanatory
pajama party- girls in lingerie guys in pj
Demolition Party- get an old car. Then tear it to pieces with whatever you can find.
Frieze bee Party- chug beer from frieze bees
Frat parties- Beer Pong

1. Running through sprinkles in boxers at 2. am. When your with the right people its a lot of fun.

I'll try to post more, but I'm always so busy. I see why people say college is the best four years of your life.

I'm nice right now

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Got a life now..........

I started this blog so I could raise money for college during the summer when I had nothing better to do. But now I've moved into my dorm and don't have anymore downtime, so the stories are going to be rare but ten times better. This will be more of a video blog. Also I probably wont be commenting as much on other peoples blogs. I appreciate all the support and followers.

There so much going on here. So I'm going to take advantage of all the opportunities. Once in a life time experience.
but its not all serious so heres a joke

Question: How did the fish cross the road?

Answer: take the r out of free.
the f out of way

Now in order for this to work you have to say it out loud.

and heres a vid just because

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Laughing when your not suppose to

The first time I watched this I laughed so hard. Maybe its just because I always find myself in a situation where I laugh when I probably shouldn't. But holding it in, makes it ten times worse.

Has laughter got the best of you at inappropriate places? Where? Why?

Side note:
I'm alternating video and story posts. So more stories soon to come.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Pulled over for the first time

Its kind of long but definitely worth reading. Skip set up if your in a rush.

About a year ago my mom was running late for a meeting. (CP time). After failing to find a parking spot she told me to take the car and go get some breakfast. I always drove and it really was no big deal.

But see what had, had happened was......

I was in Sanford county. For all my non-north Carolinians Sanford county is the COUNTRY. I know you probably think all of North Carolina is the country, but this is the COUNTRY COUNTRY.

So I go in get my breakfast, I eat, and then I completely forget where I dropped my mom off. I call my mom and she tries to tell me how to get back. For some reason I forget to look at the speedometer because I am so focused on getting to my mom.

Im coming down this hill and I see a cop sitting at the bottom of the hill like they normally do. I look at the speedometer and Im doing about 60 mph. Oh shit I hit the brakes trying to not make it all obvious I was going that fast. I past the cop Im like cool got away with it. Im driving along and I find where I dropped my mom off.

I look in the rear view mirror and I see that the cop right behind me without any sirens on, but lights blaring. He was smart not to put them on cause I would have just turned up a street, parked in a driveway, and turned off the car. Before he saw which way I went.

Its my first time being pulled over so Im more shocked then anything else. Officer Lee gets out his car walks to my window and says

Officer Lee: Why do you think I pulled you over?

Jo: umm ummm hummm can I use a life line? (I joke when I get nervous)

Officer Lee: I clocked you at 51 in a 35.

My mom calls I answer the phone.


Later I laugh cause he was standing right there.

Mom: yeah I'm coming to you hold on.

Hang up the phone

Officer Lee: license and registration please

Jo: Yo no Obla les englais.

Officer Lee:(Something in spanish at a million mph)

Jo: thisismymomscartheregistrationisintheglovecompartmentsomewhere

Officer Lee: Okay license?

I hand him my learners permit. The one where an adult has to be in the car at all times. Also the one that expired about a month ago.

He goes and writes my first ticket. My mom gets in the car now. He comes back explains the ticket and all that bs. My mom tries to explain the situation.

How come when people get pulled over they start to act like harvard professors.

Mom: Yeah the velocity mixed with gravitational pull...... Down hill southern eastern winds...... the moons magnetic hold.......

Anyway I got a ticket for driving without a license and doing a 51 in the 35. It was only a fifty dollar ticket, but with court fees automatically added on it ended up being $171.

Have you ever been pulled over leave a comment or just tell me what you thought about my story.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Job Meltdowns

So who hasn't felt like doing this at their job? In fact, I thought about my version of this scene on a daily basis for the last year. Since my last day is next monday, Ill tell you exactly how it plays out.

But first I need some ideas. Tell me the perfect way to exit my job that I hate. Don't spare your crazies tricks/fantasies.

I follow all my subscribers
(make sure I have a link)

Monday, August 10, 2009

Phone operators

Qualifications for becoming a phone operator include:
1. Lack of basic English speaking skills
2. Lack of basic comprehension,
3. Lack of understanding of their job,
4. Basic reading and repeat skills,
5. A middle school diploma.

Over the past few months I have noticed the quality of phone operators has taken a dramatic turn for the worse. Maybe I'm just becoming aware of the problem. Its seems to me that the only way to operate the phone for a company is to have lower brain functions.

So I call my phone company the other week.

Operator: Hello thank you for calling AT&T

Jo: Hey, I just wanted to know what date will I be able to upgrade my phone without getting cancelation fees on my two year contract.

Operator: umm yeah are you saying you want to buy the new Iphone. Were running a special deal for this weekend only and....

Jo: Umm No I just wanted to know what date I can upgrade my phone.

Operator: Oh yes of course you can start a new phone plan with us today. The new Iphone is only $399 this week---

Jo: No okay listen to me carefully I. want. to. upgrade. my. phone. without. getting. fees. What. date. will. that. be. possible.

Operator: Oh why didn't you just say so... I'll transfer you to guest services.

Jo: okay.....

Okay so Im a pretty patient person, but after a ten minute wait I start to get annoyed.

Operator 2: Hello this is AT&T repair and tech support.

Jo: uhhhhh could you just transfer me to guest services.

Now Im mad. I consider driving my ass to the store so I don't wind up throwing my phone against the wall. But Im going to give them another chance.

Operator 3: Hello diz eh AT&T guest services. Ow may I assisss you?

Jo: umm yeah so I needed to know when I can upgrade my phone without getting fees?

Operator 3: ok I juuuice nee ome occount nformatjon. hat iz yo Nom?

Jo: uhhh What?

Operator 3: Nom? hat iz yo Nam?

Jo: Jo

Operator 3: Hat iz yo ole adrest?

Jo: what?

Operator 3: sir could you put ome one on the phone who speaks better english?

Now instead of acting like a loud ghetto mess I decide to hang up(crush) the phone. I'd rather pay late fees then waste my time with another elementary school drop out. Anyways I went online and got my question answered.

So thats my story have you ever had a bad experience with a phone operator leave a comment.
or just tell me what you thought about my story.

As always I'll follow you if you follow me.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

A Summary of American Politics

And now you know........

Please Comment
Ill Follow you if you follow me

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

320 facts you probably didn't know part 1

1. Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley's Comet can be seen. During his life he predicted that he would die when it could be seen.
2. US Dollar bills are made out of cotton and linen.
3. The "57" on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of pickle types the company once had.
4. Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world's garbage annually. On average, that's 3 pounds a day per person.
5. Giraffes and rats can last longer without water than camels.
6. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn't digest itself.
7. 98% of all murders and rapes are by a close family member or friend of the victim.
8. A B-25 bomber crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building on July 28, 1945.
9. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.
10. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
11. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
12. Benjamin Franklin was the fifth in a series of the youngest son of the youngest son.
13. Triskaidekaphobia means fear of the number 13. Paraskevidekatriaphobia means fear of Friday the 13th (which occurs one to three times a year). In Italy, 17 is considered an unlucky number. In Japan, 4 is considered an unlucky number.
14. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
15. All the chemicals in a human body combined are worth about 6.25 euro (if sold separately).
16. In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles.
17. The ZIP in "ZIP code" means Zoning Improvement Plan.
18. Coca-Cola contained Coca (whose active ingredient is cocaine) from 1885 to 1903.
19. A "2 by 4" is really 1 1/2 by 3 1/2.
20. It's estimated that at any one time around 0.7% of the world's population is drunk.
21. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades = David ; Clubs = Alexander the Great ; Hearts = Charlemagne ; Diamonds = Caesar
22. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
23. Every person, including identical twins, has a unique eye and tongue print along with their finger print.
24. The "spot" on the 7-Up logo comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an albino.
25. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 dictionary were misspelled.
26. The "save" icon in Microsoft Office programs shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards.
27. Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin both married their first cousins (Elsa Löwenthal and Emma Wedgewood respectively).
28. Camel's have three eyelids.
29. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents every day.
30. John Wilkes Booth's brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son.
31. Warren Beatty and Shirley McLaine are brother and sister.
32. Chocolate can kill dogs; it directly affects their heart and nervous system.
33. Daniel Boone hated coonskin caps.
34. Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.
35. 55.1% of all US prisoners are in prison for drug offenses.
36. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
37. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
38. Dr. Seuss pronounced his name "soyce".
39. Slugs have four noses.
40. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
41. The Three Wise Monkeys have names: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil).
42. India has a Bill of Rights for cows.
43. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. (DON'T TRY IT, DUMBASS)
44. During the California gold rush of 1849, miners sent their laundry to Honolulu for washing and pressing. Due to the extremely high costs in California during these boom years, it was deemed more feasible to send their shirts to Hawaii for servicing.
45. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by taking out an olive from First Class salads.
46. About 200,000,000 M&Ms are sold each day in the United States.
47. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
48. Over a course of about eleven years, the sun's magnetic poles switch places. This cycle is called "Solarmax".
49. There are 318,979,564,000 possible combinations of the first four moves in Chess.
50. Upper and lower case letters are named "upper" and "lower" because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the upper case letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the lower case letters.
51. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
52. The numbers "172" can be found on the back of the US 5 dollar bill, in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.
53. Coconuts kill about 150 people each year. That's more than sharks.
54. Half of all bank robberies take place on a Friday.
55. The name Wendy was made up for the play Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before it.
56. The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.
57. The first bomb the Allies dropped on Berlin in WWII killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
58. The average raindrop falls at 7 miles per hour.
59. It took Leonardo Da Vinci 10 years to paint Mona Lisa. He never signed or dated the painting. Leonardo and Mona had identical bone structures according to the painting. X-ray images have shown that there are 3 other versions under the original.
60. If you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
61. Bruce Lee was so fast that they had to slow the film down so you could see his moves.
62. The largest amount of money you can have without having change for a dollar is $1.19 (3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies cannot be divided into a dollar).
63. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA".
64. IBM's motto is "Think". Apple later made their motto "Think different".
65. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white, due to low budget.
66. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
67. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
68. One in fourteen women in America is a natural blonde. Only one in sixteen men is.
69. The Olympic was the sister ship of the Titanic, and she provided twenty-five years of service.
70. When the Titanic sank, 2228 people were on it. Only 706 survived.
71. In America, someone is diagnosed with AIDS every 10 minutes. In South Africa, someone dies due to HIV or AIDS every 10 minutes.
72. Every day, 7% of the US eats at McDonald's.
73. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, which Motorola got their name from.
74. In the US, about 127 million adults are overweight or obese; worldwide, 750 million are overweight and 300 million more are obese. In the US, 15% of children in elementary school are overweight; 20% are worldwide.
75. In Disney's Fantasia, the Sorcerer to whom Mickey played an apprentice was named Yensid (Disney spelled backward).
76. During his entire life, Vincent Van Gogh sold exactly one painting, "Red Vineyard at Arles".
77. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
78. One in ten people live on an island.
79. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
80. 28% of Africa is classified as wilderness. In North America, its 38%.
81. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
82. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
83. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson", Humphrey Bogart NEVER said "Play it again, Sam" in Casablanca, and they NEVER said "Beam me up, Scotty" on Star Trek.
84. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.
85. Sharon Stone was the first Star Search spokes model.
86. The sound you here when you put a seashell next to your ear is not the ocean, but blood flowing through your head.
87. More people are afraid of open spaces (kenophobia) than of tight spaces (claustrophobia).
88. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
89. There is a 1 in 4 chance that New York will have a white Christmas.
90. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
91. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
92. Back in the mid to late '80s, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered 100% compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator.
93. $203,000,000 is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S.
94. Every US president has worn glasses (just not always in public).
95. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
96. Jim Henson first coined the word "Muppet". It is a combination of "marionette" and "puppet."
97. The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with (not counting the words "North" and "South).
98. The Michelin man is known as Mr. Bib. His name was Bibendum in the company's first ads in 1896.
99. About 20% of bird species have become extinct in the past 200 years, almost all of them because of human activity.
100. The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
101. About 14% of injecting drug users are HIV positive.
102. A word or sentence that is the same front and back (racecar, kayak) is called a "palindrome".
103. A snail can sleep for 3 years.
104. People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide.
105. China has more English speakers than the United States.
106. Finnish folklore says that when Santa comes to Finland to deliver gifts, he leaves his sleigh behind and rides on a goat named Ukko instead. According to French tradition, Santa Claus has a brother named Bells Nichols, who visits homes on New Year's Eve after everyone is asleep, and if a plate is set out for him, he fills it with cookies and cakes.
107. One in every 9000 people is an albino.
108. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
109. You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.
110. Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly sets than for the U.S. Treasury.
111. Every year 4 people in the UK die putting their trousers on.
112. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds; dogs only have about ten.
113. Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing.
114. In every episode of "Seinfeld" there is a Superman picture or reference somewhere.
115. If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.
116. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
117. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
118. Each year in America there are about 300,000 deaths that can be attributed to obesity.
119. About 55% of all movies are rated R.
120. About 500 movies are made in the US and 800 in India annually.
121. Arabic numerals are not really Arabic; they were created in India.
122. Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations (implemented on July 16, 1969) makes it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles.
123. The February of 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
124. The Pentagon in Arlington Virginia has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
125. There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat, though it may feel uncomfortable.
126. The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
127. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.
128. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
129. There are about 2 chickens for every human in the world.
130. The word "maverick" came into use after Samuel Maverick, a Texan refused to brand his cattle. Eventually any unbranded calf became known as a Maverick.
131. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
132. For every memorial statue with a person on a horse, if the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died of battle wounds; if all four of the horse's legs are on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
133. On a Canadian two-dollar bill, the American flag is flying over the Parliament Building.
134. An American urologist bought Napoleon's penis for $40,000.
135. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
136. Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters "MT".
137. $283,200 is the absolute highest amount of money you can win on Jeopardy.
138. Almonds are members of the peach family.
139. Rats and horses can't vomit.
140. The penguin is the only bird

320 facts you probably didn't know part 2

141. There are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day.
142. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance.
143. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
144. There are only four words in the English language that end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
145. Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
146. Every time you lick a stamp you consume 1/10 of a calorie.
147. "101 Dalmatians" and "Peter Pan" are the only Disney animations in which both of a character's parents are present and don't die during the movie.
148. You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
149. Hedenophobic means fear of pleasure.
150. Ancient Egyptian priests would pluck every hair from their bodies.
151. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
152. Half of all crimes are committed by people under the age of 18. 80% of burglaries are committed by people aged 13-21.
153. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
154. All polar bears are left-handed.
155. The catfish has over 27000 taste buds (more than any other animal)
156. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
157. Butterflies taste with their feet.
158. Elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump.
159. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
160. Starfish have no brains.
161. 11% of the world is left-handed.
162. John Hancock and Charles Thomson were the only people to sign the Declaration of independence on July 4th, 1776. The last signature came five years later.
163. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
164. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
165. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses.
166. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
167. A healthy (non-colorblind) human eye can distinguish between 500 shades of gray.
168. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
169. Lizards can self-amputate their tails for protection. It grows back after a few months.
170. Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula". It can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: L.A.
171. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
172. A honeybee can fly at fifteen miles per hour.
173. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
174. A "jiffy" is the scientific name for 1/100th of a second.
175. The average child recognizes over 200 company logos by the time he enters first grade.
176. The youngest pope ever was 11 years old.
177. The first novel ever written on a typewriter is Tom Sawyer.
178. One out of every 43 prisoners escapes from jail. 94% are recaptured.
179. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
180. The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs melted into it.
181. A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.
182. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
183. Elwood Edwards did the voice for the AOL sound files (i.e. "You've got Mail!"). He is heard about 27 million times a day. The recordings were done before Quantum changed its name to AOL and the program was known as "Q-Link."
184. A polar bears skin is black. Its fur is actually clear, but like snow it appears white.
185. Elvis had a twin brother named Garon, who died at birth, which is why Elvis middle name was spelled Aron, in honor of his brother.
186. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
187. Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes.
188. Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."
189. There are a million ants for every person on Earth.
190. If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
191. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
192. The name Jeep comes from "GP", the army abbreviation for General Purpose.
193. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.
194. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
195. Cats' urine glows under a black light.
196. A "quidnunc" is a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip.
197. The first US Patent was for manufacturing potassium carbonate (used in glass and gunpowder). It was issued to Samuel Hopkins on July 31, 1970.
198. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors, the helicopter, and many other present day items.
199. In the last 4000 years no new animals have been domesticated.
200. 25% of a human's bones are in its feet.
201. David Sarnoff received the Titanic's distress signal and saved hundreds of passengers. He later became the head of the first radio network, the National Broadcasting Company (NBC).
202. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
203. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than every Nike factory worker in Malaysia combined.
204. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers (they saw it as competition).
205. "Canada" is an Indian word meaning "Big Village".
206. Only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older.
207. If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
208. Rape is reported every six minutes in the U.S.
209. The human heart creates enough pressure in the bloodstream to squirt blood 30 feet.
210. A jellyfish is 95% water.
211. Truck driving is the most dangerous occupation by accidental deaths (799 in 2001).
212. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
213. Elephants only sleep for two hours each day.
214. On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
215. The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. (the heart is not a muscle)
216. In golf, a 'Bo Derek' is a score of 10.
217. In the U.S, Frisbees outsell footballs, baseballs and basketballs combined.
218. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
219. If you plant an apple seed, it is almost guaranteed to grow a tree of a different type of apple.
220. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
221. The only real person to be a PEZ head was Betsy Ross.
222. There are about 450 types of cheese in the world. 240 come from France.
223. When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers plays football at home the stadium becomes Nebraska's third largest city.
224. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life".
225. A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.
226. In Iceland, a Big Mac costs $5.50.
227. Broccoli and cauliflower are the only vegetables that are flowers.
228. Newborn babies have about 350 bones. They gradually merge and disappear until there are about 206 by age 5.
229. There is no solid proof of who built the Taj Mahal.
230. In a survey of 200000 ostriches over 80 years, not one tried to bury its head in the sand.
231. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. A quarter has 119.
232. On an American one-dollar bill there is a tiny owl in the upper-left-hand corner of the upper-right-hand "1" and a spider hidden in the front upper-right-hand corner.
233. Judy Scheindlin ("Judge Judy") has a $25,000,000 salary, while Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg has a $190,100 salary.
234. The name for Oz in the Wizard of Oz was thought up when the creator Frank Baum looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z.
235. Andorra, a tiny country on the border between France and Spain, has the longest average lifespan: 83.49 years.
236. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
237. Mr. Rogers was an ordained Presbyterian minister.
238. In America you will see an average of 500 advertisements a day.
239. John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.
240. You can lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
241. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
242. "The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English.
243. There are 336 dimples on a regulation US golf ball. In the UK its 330.
244. The Toltecs (a 7th century tribe) used wooden swords so they wouldn't kill their enemies.
245. "Duff" is the decaying organic matter found on a forest floor.
246. The US has more personal computers than the next 7 countries combined.
247. There have been over 600 lawsuits against Alexander Grahm Bell over rights to the patent of the telephone, the most valuable patent in U.S. history.
248. Kuwait is about 60% male (highest in the world). Latvia is about 54% female (highest in the world).
249. The Hawaiian alphabet has only 12 letters.
250. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
251. At the height of its power in 400 BC, the Greek city of Sparta had 25,000 citizens and 500,000 slaves.
252. Julius Caesar's autograph is worth about $2,000,000.
253. The tool doctors wrap around a patient's arm to measure blood pressure is called a sphygmomanometer.
254. People say "bless you" when you sneeze because your heart stops for a millisecond.
255. US gold coins used to say "In Gold We Trust".
256. In "Silence of the Lambs", Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins) never blinks.
257. A shrimp's heart is in its head.
258. In the 17th century, the value of pi was known to 35 decimal places. Today, to 1.2411 trillion.
259. The bestselling books of all time are The Bible (6billion+), Quotations from the Works of Mao Tse-tung (900million+), and The Lord of the Rings (100million+)
260. Pearls melt in vinegar.
261. "Lassie" was played by a group of male dogs; the main one was named Pal.
262. In 1863, Paul Hubert of Bordeaux, France, was sentenced to life in jail for murder. After 21 years, it was discovered that he was convicted of murdering himself.
263. Nepal is the only country that doesn't have a rectangular flag. Switzerland is the only country with a square flag.
264. Gabriel, Michael, and Lucifer are the only angels named in the Bible.
265. Tiger Woods' real first name is Eldrick. His father gave him the nickname "Tiger" in honor of a South Vietnamese soldier his father had fought alongside with during the Vietnam War.
266. Johnny Appleseed planted apples so that people could use apple cider to make alcohol.
267. Abraham Lincoln's ghost is said to haunt the White House.
268. God is not mentioned once in the book of Esther.
269. The odds of being born male are about 51.2%, according to census.
270. Scotland has more redheads than any other part of the world.
271. There is an average of 61,000 people airborne over the US at any given moment.
272. Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane in case there is a crash.
273. The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad. The most common name (of any type) in the world is Mohammed.
274. The surface of the Earth is about 60% water and 10% ice.
275. For every 230 cars that are made, 1 will be stolen.
276. Jimmy Carter was the first U.S. President to be born in a hospital.
277. Lightning strikes the earth about 8 million times a day.
278. Around 2,000 left-handed people die annually due to improper use of equipment designed only for right handed people.
279. The "if" and "then" parts of conditional ("if P then Q") statement are called the protasis (P) and apodosis (Q).
280. Humans use a total of 72 different muscles in speech.
281. If you feed a seagull Alka-Seltzer, its stomach will explode.
282. Only female mosquitoes bite.
283. The U.S. Post Office handles 43 percent of the world's mail.
284. Most household dust is made of dead skin cells.
285. One in about eight million people has progeria, a disease that causes people to grow faster than they age.
286. The male seahorse carries the eggs until they hatch instead of the female.
287. The "countdown" (counting down from 10 for an event such as New-Years Day) was first used in a 1929 German silent film called "Die Frau Im Monde" (The Girl in the Moon).
288. Negative emotions such as anxiety and depression can weaken your immune system.
289. There are seven suicides in the Bible: Abimelech. Samson, Saul, Saul's armor-bearer, Ahithophel, Zimri, Judas.
290. A mongoose is not a goose but more like a meercat, which is not a cat but more like a prairie dog, which is not a dog but more like a ground squirrel.
291. Stephen Hawking was born exactly 300 years after Galileo died.
292. Mercury is the only planet whose orbit is coplanar with its equator. Venus and Uranus are the only planets that rotate opposite to the direction of their orbit.
293. John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Monroe died on July 4th. Adams and Jefferson died in the same year. Supposedly, Adams last words were "Thomas Jefferson survives."
294. The Baby Ruth candy bar was named after Grover Cleveland's baby daughter, Ruth, not Babe Ruth the baseball player.
295. Dolphins can look in different directions with each eye. They can sleep with one eye open.
296. The Falkland Isles (pop. about 2000) has over 700000 sheep (350 per person).
297. There are 41,806 different spoken languages in the world today.
298. While many treaties have been signed at or near Paris, France (including many after WWI and WWII), nine are actually known as the "Treaty of Paris": Seven Years' War (1763), American Revolutionary War (1783), French-Swede War (1810), France vs Sixth Coalition (1814), Battle of Waterloo (1815), Crimean War (1856), Spanish-American War (1898), union of Bessarabia and Romania (1920), establishment of European Coal and Steel Community (1951).
299. Robert Todd Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln's oldest son) was in Washington DC during his father's assassination as well as during President Garfield's assassination, and he was in Buffalo NY when President McKinley was assassinated.
300. The city of Venice stands on about 120 small islands.
301. The past-tense of the English word "dare" is "durst".
302. Don Mac Lean's song "American Pie" was written about Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and J.P. Richardson (The Big Bopper), who all died in the same plane crash.
303. The drummer for ZZ Top (the only one without a beard) is named Frank Beard.
304. Hummingbirds can't walk.
305. When movie directors do not want their names to be seen in the credits, they use the pseudonym "Allen Smithee" instead. It has been used over 50 times, starting with "Death of a Gunfighter" (1969).
306. Four different people played the part of Darth Vader (body, face, voice, and breathing).
307. Pamela Lee-Anderson was the first to be born in Canada on the centennial anniversary of Canada's independence (7/1/1967).
308. There is about 200 times more gold in the oceans than has been mined throughout history.
309. William Shatner is credited for being the first person on TV to say "hell" as well as to have the first inter-racial kiss (with Nichelle Nichols), both in episodes of Star Trek.
310. While the US government's supply of gold is kept at Fort Knox, its supply of silver is kept at the Military Academy at West Point, NY.
311. Alexander Graham Bell's wife and mother were both deaf.
312. Compact discs read from the inside to the outside edge, the reverse of how a record works.
313. In the ancient Greek city-state of Sparta, if a man was not married by age 30, he would not be allowed to vote or watch athletic events involving nude young men.
314. Attila the Hun (invader of Europe; 406-453), Felix Faure (French President; 1841-1899), Pope Leo VII (936-939), Pope John VII (955-964), Pope Leo VIII (963-965), Pope John XIII (965-72), Pope Paul II (1467-1471), Lord Palmerston (British Prime Minister, 1784-1865), Nelson Rockefeller (US Vice President, 1908-1979), and John Entwistle (The Who's bassist, 1944-2002) all died while having sex.
315. Humans and dolphins are the only animals known to have sex for pleasure.
316. Pac-Man, Namco's 1979 arcade game, was originally called "Puck Man". The name was changed when they realized that vandals could easily scratch out part of the letter "P".
317. Shakespeare and Cervantes died on the same day, April 23, 1616.
318. There are about 7.7 million millionaires in the world (more than 1/1000th of the population).
319. The youngest mother on record was a Peruvian girl named Lina Medina. She gave birth to a boy by caesarean section on May 14, 1939 (which happened to be Mother's Day), at the age of five years, seven months and 21 days.
320. The "middle finger" gesture originates back to 423 BC in Aristophanes play "The Clouds".

I found these facts on the internet

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Try not laughing when crack meets coffee

Crazy by Gnarles Barkley

Please Comment

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

When you are engulfed in flames

On a whim I picked up David Sedaris's When you are engulfed in flames. I thought the cover was interesting and after reading the reviews on the back I thought I would be picking a page turner. However I was sourly disappointed. After about half way through the book I found myself looking forward to it being over. I even considered not finishing the book and starting with a new one.
The book begins with a collection of almost seemingly unrelated essay's then transforms into a journal of a guy quitting smoking. What drew me to this book originally was the fact that they were short stories. This made it easier to pick up read and put down for a while then pick up again without forgetting important details. The initial humor and interesting stories allowed me to make it till about half way before I started questioning the reviews of this book.

I know there are many themes and morals to the stories in this book that I completely missed. Im sure if I was actually trying to read a story for more than face value this would be perfect. If I were a professor trying to assign book that would analyze cultural differences, underlining motives, and day-to-day social miss-haps this would be perfect. However if your looking to pick up an interesting book that keeps you up late at night, you will be in for a rude awakening. Now Im not saying the book was not good, Im just saying its more educational than entertaining toward the half way mark. The entertaining part is the humor in the wording rather than plot. David Sedaris I has earned the title of, Written Comedian. Like any book though don't expect to be laughing on the floor. Think of one of your more average sitcoms.
Overall I don't regret reading it, but if I had known the author/main character was a homosexual I probably not picked up the book. I have no problems gays I just rather not be desensitize to the taboo of homosexuality. Learning about the cultural differences, in language and behavior was very eye opening which made reading it worth something. I would be careful who I recommended this book to.
Tell me what you thought about the book or my review leave a comment

Friday, July 24, 2009

Unknown side Effects of a New Drug

Obama's Educational Reform, The Race to the Top

This really isn't worth reading. It was a fail attempt to turn this into some political blog. But lets be real its just boring.

President Barack Obama is purposing an educational reform in which schools across the nation will compete for 4.35 billion dollars in grants rather than dividing and distributing money. The plan uses national policies that would connect teachers pay to student performance. Four states will be excluded due to conflict with laws that prohibit teacher pay to student performance California, Wisconsin, New York, and Nevada. The plan is going to make educational institution earn the funding and I believe this will be the start to a smarter america.
There is some concern that the plan will leave many students behind, but like every competition there will be losers. Local and state officials will be pressured into performing. This will work for those who improve their standards, however areas in which little improvement occurs the school will fall even further behind, missing out on federal funding. But we might find that teachers will make course work easier in order to allow more A students. A national increase of As but a decrease of understanding can be a disastrous combination.
On the other hand if the plan is implemented right we will see a booming educational society. This will combat the bigger classroom sizes and smaller taxes. Teachers will no longer sit on there behinds nonchalantly teaching. This will encourage everyone to step up there game all around. We'll see in the upcoming years how effective it will be.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I love you, Beth Cooper

So I went to this disaster of a film last weekend. I knew before I even went that it wouldn't be worth watching for free on regular TV, but since I had a free movie ticket and I already saw Harry Potter and Transformers 2 why not. Well it disappointed on a level far beyond expected(I hadn't thought possible).

The movie is about a valedictorian, Denis Cooverman (actor Paul Rust) who is in love with Beth Cooper (actress Hayden Panettiere) and dedicates his graduation speech to her while also insulting most of his classmates and Beth's navy boyfriend. After graduation Beth takes two of her friends, Cammy Alcott (Lauren London) and Treece Kilmer (Lauren Storm), over to Denis's for the graduation party he invited them too. Jack Carpenter (Rick Munsch) helps host this three guest party, when Beth Cooper's boyfriend shows up with two navy guys a ruins everything. The rest of the movie, shows the five graduates running from Beth's boyfriend while trying to celebrate the end of their high school career.

Had this happen to someone in real life it would be a great story to tell someone, but it should not have been made into a movie. Mostly due to the fact that the main character still remained an unlaid nerd after it was all over. It didn't seem to make since that after all the stuff they went through there were no problems solved. Paul Rust damn sure sold the look of a valedictorian, however there is real life ugly (Paul Rust) and Tv ugly (Sara Jessica Parker). I'm just saying I looking for a Tv nerd not an abortion. One thing about the movie though, was the fact that Denis didn't get Beth at the end. I like that aspect of realness because no girl that looked like Hayden Panettiere would ever be with some like Dennis Cooverman.

The movie taught a lesson to live your life and have fun. So I'm passing on that advice, don't waste your time watching this movie and have fun. I give I love you Beth Cooper, 1 out of 5 stars. Opening box office $10 million.

Tell me what you thought about I love you, Beth Cooper Comment or rate it here

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Racism Just Below the Surface

Racism is hidden but very real presences in our day to day lives. This video highlights this point. It shows how sidle body language reveals a racist person. The person may not even realize that they hold prejudice views toward black people. Everyday people in the world have this mental conversation very similar to the one in this video. Don't let your subconscious fears/misconceptions translate into your body language or you might end up looking like this woman.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

360 Waves

Have you been trying to get 360 waves without success. Brushing and Brushing just doesn't seem to work for you and you have tried everything in the book. Well I have the answers, my struggling brothers. If you want waves like these follow my steps and I guarantee that your waves will look as good as mine. (Steps will be added later)

These photos are taken after a BAD hair day because I wanted to show the difference between sleeping with a wave cap and do-rag.

Ill try to get a good hair day pic in later. But please comment and ask any questions you have I'll be happy to answer.

360 waves on a Bad Hair Day

Monday, June 29, 2009

A Great Break Up Video

Once you get passed the amateur video qualities this is a funny video.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Black film Atrophy- an over dramatic black film lacking plot then covered with humor

The swine flu is not the only disease that seems to be spreading at an alarming rate. Black films have become infected with a virus that is spreading like a wild fire. Lacking plot, predictable endings, and over-emotional acting are the major symptoms. However the new strand is laced with so much stereotypical humor that only very few will be aware that they've been infected. People leave the theater believing what they saw was a legitimate film and on the surface that's what it is, but If movie goers actually analyzed movies with some second level thoughts they would see how crappy these films really are.
I diagnosed these types of films with a disease called black film Atrophy(BFA)- an over dramatic black film lacking plot then covered with humor. BFA has increased exponentially in the past five years. Not so long ago, the black community produced respectable films such as "Brown Sugar" and "the Love of Basketball." Nowadays it seems we can not make one film without there being someone going through the emotions of getting out of a bad relationship or trying to get in a good one. These films exploit some of the black communities problems that were not previously highlighted in films, but for some reason forgot to add a actually story line.
This was most evident in Preston A Whitmore's, "This Christmas," staring Regina King, Chris Brown, Delroy Lindo, and some other well known black actors. BFA ran ramped killing the respectability of many award winning actors. The first half of the move was spent establishing character background and the second half was spent throwing a story line together. I found myself asking without answer, "SO...what is this movie about" and "when is something worth watching going to happen." Maybe it was how it was written, or filmed, or edited, but someone needs to be held responsible, someone needs to lose a career over this atrocious mess.
More recently, T.D. Jakes film, "Not Easily Broken" helped launched Taraji P. Henson's career giving her a oscar nomination. She and Morest chestnut did an awesome job acting and there performances deserve the recognition. They merit the most acknowledgment for masking one of the worst cases of BFA. Kevin Hart's comedic performance did a great job covering some of the hemorrhaging plot line, which seems to be headed in a downward direction for the entire movie. Heres the summary of the movie: The marriage is good, the marriage goes bad, he has problems with the father of a boy on his baseball team, he randomly, yet magically fixes his marriage, the father helps his son. There is a complete disconnection between the problems and the solutions. They seem to just fix themselves offering no real solution. If you look at this movie on the surface or from a psychological stand point, it is great because the movie focuses more on the day-to-day emotions rather than the big picture. This is a classic case of BFA.
If BFA is the AIDS then Tyler Perry is definitely the HIV. Tyler Perry has done an excellent job establishing a career for himself considering his background. His plays were hilarious, but when he started making movies is when his creditability, in my opinion, began to slowly drop then free fall. Tyler Perry's, "Diary of A Mad Black" was a decent film to begin his movie making debut, but some of his follow up films like, "Meet the Browns," "Daddy's Little Girls," and "Why did I get Married," were festering with BFA. "Meet the Browns" being the worst case I have ever seen. In addition to the usual signs of BFA, "Meet the Browns" was also poorly filmed. For instance did anyone else notice the microphone at the top of the screen in random scenes throughout the film. This amateur work discredits black films, but it didn't seem to slow Mr. Perry's career.
I could break down each of Tyler Perry's films and reiterate and analyze the symptoms of the BFA, but I'll spare you the reading, suffice it to say that once you know its there you will be able to see it for yourself.
The purpose of this post is not to dissuade you from seeing black movies, but rather inform you or make you aware of the of the BFA crisis. Black film Atrophy is not curable, but it is containable. We as a community need to expect more from the black film makers and writers. Just because they try to relate to black people by adding some of the struggles that affect black people today, it does not excuse them from having decent plot lines. My challenge to you is to see past conventional black humor, the strong christian over tones, and the over emotional acting and see these films for what they are, meat-less.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Tyra Banks is an Idiot

Does anyone else see how stupid Tyra Banks is. Am I the only one questioning why she has her own show. In the past talk shows were hosted by people who were actually interesting or have something to say to the world.

Tyra is a 35 year old woman who hasn't had kids, has never been married, and has had nothing significantly tragic or inspiring happen to her. However, for some reasons, she feels she has the authority to give advice to people who experienced more than her.

Tyra just because you were raised in a loving home does not give you the right to dictate or advise what people should do in there home. Under this logic everyone who went to school is qualified to teach. For instance you told a woman that she should not allow her daughter to sleep in the same room as her boyfriend. The woman was trying to tell you that there going to do it anyway because she is not there most of the time. Do you have kids. Are you really telling a woman who has kids what is best for her kids.
I'll give credit where credit is due, she was a beautiful model, her stories on the show are good, and she knows what she is talking about when it comes to modeling. That doesn't add up to a talk show host though. If you actively watch the show Tyra picks easy clear sided topics and then gives obvious advice. She say nothing in site full or different, she just adds a "Guuurrrrllll" or a corny joke.
One of her more irritating qualities is she is so fake. She goes on her trying so hard to be Oprah and trying so hard to relate to everyone that we are left with nothing real. The only actual thing Tyra Banks was upset about was being called fat. While I think the feeling was genuine, the emotion was for ratings. Her fakeness was most evident when she had a show about conquering fears. A woman was scared of birds and Tyra was pretending to be scared of birds to comfort her. It came off soooooo disingenuous that a two year old could see it. On top of that she tries to act black, or be down, but in the next breath every other word is ''like'' or ''Oh my God." This is how you can tell when she has no clue what she is talking about, watch her eyes. She starts to franticly blink her eyes. She gives her advice and the crowd sits quietly trying to understand what the hell she is talking about. One time she asked a guest what she would wish for if she had a magic wand. As she continued to speak, she continued to make less and less sense. I understand what she was trying to get at, but how she went about doing it (while blinking madly) shows just how stupid Tyra really is. In conclusion, the next time you watch the Tyra Banks Show pay close attention to what she says, how she acts, and remember this woman knows little outside the world of modeling. Tell your friends, expose her stupidity. Tyra Banks is a fake, uneducated, pee-brained has-been model, who has only gotten to where she is because of her looks. (which aren’t that great)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

kid kudi bears


Chronicles of a Pissed off Employee

I was working at a concession stand type food service section of a major department store, when this customer walks up.

Woman: Hey can I get a number 1

Jo: Sorry We don't have numbers ma'am do you want a popcorn combo?

Jo's thought: Are you blind? Obviously that's the price next to the picture of the popcorn. Can't you see the "$1.50". Bitch, I'll tell you what I can get you some god damn glasses.

Woman: Oh well give me that

Jo's thought: "Give me that" I'll tell you what I can give you, a number to a nutritionist because yo ass look like your keeping Baskin Robins open all by your damn self.

Jo: Alright that will be $1.62. (I bag the popcorn and bring it back.)
Woman: $1.62 right? (the woman begins search through her purse for the money)
Jo's thought: I know this bitch didn't wait until right now to start getting her money ready
Woman: (After a brief waiting period she hands me the money) Thanks
Jo: Thank you. Have a Great day
Jo's thought: OH yeah and try not to eat the bag. I know its been over two minutes since your last feeding, but if you eat the bag you might not have room for the tub of ice cream that's calling your name this Friday night.
Transaction no. 374