Monday, October 19, 2009

I want to go to College for the rest of my lIfe

Not really.... But I haven't had this much fun in a long time. This song/video describes my weekends perfectly. Its everything the movies and the media makes it out to be.
The best part is chilling with my down-to-earth homies

I'm not going to say which college I go to. (not yet anyway) just know:
Its in North Carolina- even though most people are from the North
Its private highly selective- you have to be smart to get in
Its 90% Caucasian- which is less than 10% black
Its very expensive- scholarships are a must

Ten most interesting things I experienced at college

10. Meeting people. I met a hundred and ten people. They all recycled the same five damn names
Girls: Jessica, Emily, Amanda, Sarah, Jennifer
Boys: Eric, James, John, David, Chris

You can yell any one of these names and twenty people would turn their heads. The great part is if you forget someone's name just pick from the five most times your probably right.

9. School work. uuuuuuhhhhh yeah. My teacher opps correction professor assigned a paper on how our culture affects us. WHAT and then was surprised when people weren't sure what to right about.

8. People moving laundry. They said, "gently move the clothes if you need the washer." How about you gently remove my foot out your ass if you touch my laundry.

7. Drunk people. Im not gonna lie, I been one of them. Time isn't wasted when your getting wasted sooooo fill up my cup.

6. People breaking the rules already. Luckily our RA doesn't care. But we have suite in our dorm that has an unmistakable alcohol smell when you walk by. There's also a girl who has a rabbit.

5. No roommate, but some weird ass suite-mates. So I lucked out and got a room to myself. But there are some sheltered people here.

Jo: Whose the most attractive black woman in your opinion?

Terry: Hail Berry

Not Halle Berry. he pronounced it HELL BERRY. Where are these people from?

4. Did you just start an argument with the teacher? I was just shocked that these nerds really just tried to argue with the professor. In Statics nonetheless. Math is Math its not debatable but they really did try.

3. Cookout. Its a burger joint in the south that stays open 24hrs. The best part is its so cheap. Every time I go we pack like seven people in someone's car and make a huge order. They are always like, "is that all in were like no."

2. Parties of course.
Party themes:
Golf hoes tennis pros.-guys dress like golfers girls like tennis players
jungle party.-wear animal print
highlighter party.-wear a white-tee and right on people's shirts with highlighter
Togo party- self-explanatory
pajama party- girls in lingerie guys in pj
Demolition Party- get an old car. Then tear it to pieces with whatever you can find.
Frieze bee Party- chug beer from frieze bees
Frat parties- Beer Pong

1. Running through sprinkles in boxers at 2. am. When your with the right people its a lot of fun.

I'll try to post more, but I'm always so busy. I see why people say college is the best four years of your life.

I'm nice right now

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Got a life now..........

I started this blog so I could raise money for college during the summer when I had nothing better to do. But now I've moved into my dorm and don't have anymore downtime, so the stories are going to be rare but ten times better. This will be more of a video blog. Also I probably wont be commenting as much on other peoples blogs. I appreciate all the support and followers.

There so much going on here. So I'm going to take advantage of all the opportunities. Once in a life time experience.
but its not all serious so heres a joke

Question: How did the fish cross the road?

Answer: take the r out of free.
the f out of way

Now in order for this to work you have to say it out loud.

and heres a vid just because

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Laughing when your not suppose to

The first time I watched this I laughed so hard. Maybe its just because I always find myself in a situation where I laugh when I probably shouldn't. But holding it in, makes it ten times worse.

Has laughter got the best of you at inappropriate places? Where? Why?

Side note:
I'm alternating video and story posts. So more stories soon to come.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Pulled over for the first time

Its kind of long but definitely worth reading. Skip set up if your in a rush.

About a year ago my mom was running late for a meeting. (CP time). After failing to find a parking spot she told me to take the car and go get some breakfast. I always drove and it really was no big deal.

But see what had, had happened was......

I was in Sanford county. For all my non-north Carolinians Sanford county is the COUNTRY. I know you probably think all of North Carolina is the country, but this is the COUNTRY COUNTRY.

So I go in get my breakfast, I eat, and then I completely forget where I dropped my mom off. I call my mom and she tries to tell me how to get back. For some reason I forget to look at the speedometer because I am so focused on getting to my mom.

Im coming down this hill and I see a cop sitting at the bottom of the hill like they normally do. I look at the speedometer and Im doing about 60 mph. Oh shit I hit the brakes trying to not make it all obvious I was going that fast. I past the cop Im like cool got away with it. Im driving along and I find where I dropped my mom off.

I look in the rear view mirror and I see that the cop right behind me without any sirens on, but lights blaring. He was smart not to put them on cause I would have just turned up a street, parked in a driveway, and turned off the car. Before he saw which way I went.

Its my first time being pulled over so Im more shocked then anything else. Officer Lee gets out his car walks to my window and says

Officer Lee: Why do you think I pulled you over?

Jo: umm ummm hummm can I use a life line? (I joke when I get nervous)

Officer Lee: I clocked you at 51 in a 35.

My mom calls I answer the phone.


Later I laugh cause he was standing right there.

Mom: yeah I'm coming to you hold on.

Hang up the phone

Officer Lee: license and registration please

Jo: Yo no Obla les englais.

Officer Lee:(Something in spanish at a million mph)

Jo: thisismymomscartheregistrationisintheglovecompartmentsomewhere

Officer Lee: Okay license?

I hand him my learners permit. The one where an adult has to be in the car at all times. Also the one that expired about a month ago.

He goes and writes my first ticket. My mom gets in the car now. He comes back explains the ticket and all that bs. My mom tries to explain the situation.

How come when people get pulled over they start to act like harvard professors.

Mom: Yeah the velocity mixed with gravitational pull...... Down hill southern eastern winds...... the moons magnetic hold.......

Anyway I got a ticket for driving without a license and doing a 51 in the 35. It was only a fifty dollar ticket, but with court fees automatically added on it ended up being $171.

Have you ever been pulled over leave a comment or just tell me what you thought about my story.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Job Meltdowns

So who hasn't felt like doing this at their job? In fact, I thought about my version of this scene on a daily basis for the last year. Since my last day is next monday, Ill tell you exactly how it plays out.

But first I need some ideas. Tell me the perfect way to exit my job that I hate. Don't spare your crazies tricks/fantasies.

I follow all my subscribers
(make sure I have a link)

Monday, August 10, 2009

Phone operators

Qualifications for becoming a phone operator include:
1. Lack of basic English speaking skills
2. Lack of basic comprehension,
3. Lack of understanding of their job,
4. Basic reading and repeat skills,
5. A middle school diploma.

Over the past few months I have noticed the quality of phone operators has taken a dramatic turn for the worse. Maybe I'm just becoming aware of the problem. Its seems to me that the only way to operate the phone for a company is to have lower brain functions.

So I call my phone company the other week.

Operator: Hello thank you for calling AT&T

Jo: Hey, I just wanted to know what date will I be able to upgrade my phone without getting cancelation fees on my two year contract.

Operator: umm yeah are you saying you want to buy the new Iphone. Were running a special deal for this weekend only and....

Jo: Umm No I just wanted to know what date I can upgrade my phone.

Operator: Oh yes of course you can start a new phone plan with us today. The new Iphone is only $399 this week---

Jo: No okay listen to me carefully I. want. to. upgrade. my. phone. without. getting. fees. What. date. will. that. be. possible.

Operator: Oh why didn't you just say so... I'll transfer you to guest services.

Jo: okay.....

Okay so Im a pretty patient person, but after a ten minute wait I start to get annoyed.

Operator 2: Hello this is AT&T repair and tech support.

Jo: uhhhhh could you just transfer me to guest services.

Now Im mad. I consider driving my ass to the store so I don't wind up throwing my phone against the wall. But Im going to give them another chance.

Operator 3: Hello diz eh AT&T guest services. Ow may I assisss you?

Jo: umm yeah so I needed to know when I can upgrade my phone without getting fees?

Operator 3: ok I juuuice nee ome occount nformatjon. hat iz yo Nom?

Jo: uhhh What?

Operator 3: Nom? hat iz yo Nam?

Jo: Jo

Operator 3: Hat iz yo ole adrest?

Jo: what?

Operator 3: sir could you put ome one on the phone who speaks better english?

Now instead of acting like a loud ghetto mess I decide to hang up(crush) the phone. I'd rather pay late fees then waste my time with another elementary school drop out. Anyways I went online and got my question answered.

So thats my story have you ever had a bad experience with a phone operator leave a comment.
or just tell me what you thought about my story.

As always I'll follow you if you follow me.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

A Summary of American Politics

And now you know........

Please Comment
Ill Follow you if you follow me