Monday, June 29, 2009

A Great Break Up Video

Once you get passed the amateur video qualities this is a funny video.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Black film Atrophy- an over dramatic black film lacking plot then covered with humor

The swine flu is not the only disease that seems to be spreading at an alarming rate. Black films have become infected with a virus that is spreading like a wild fire. Lacking plot, predictable endings, and over-emotional acting are the major symptoms. However the new strand is laced with so much stereotypical humor that only very few will be aware that they've been infected. People leave the theater believing what they saw was a legitimate film and on the surface that's what it is, but If movie goers actually analyzed movies with some second level thoughts they would see how crappy these films really are.
I diagnosed these types of films with a disease called black film Atrophy(BFA)- an over dramatic black film lacking plot then covered with humor. BFA has increased exponentially in the past five years. Not so long ago, the black community produced respectable films such as "Brown Sugar" and "the Love of Basketball." Nowadays it seems we can not make one film without there being someone going through the emotions of getting out of a bad relationship or trying to get in a good one. These films exploit some of the black communities problems that were not previously highlighted in films, but for some reason forgot to add a actually story line.
This was most evident in Preston A Whitmore's, "This Christmas," staring Regina King, Chris Brown, Delroy Lindo, and some other well known black actors. BFA ran ramped killing the respectability of many award winning actors. The first half of the move was spent establishing character background and the second half was spent throwing a story line together. I found myself asking without answer, "SO...what is this movie about" and "when is something worth watching going to happen." Maybe it was how it was written, or filmed, or edited, but someone needs to be held responsible, someone needs to lose a career over this atrocious mess.
More recently, T.D. Jakes film, "Not Easily Broken" helped launched Taraji P. Henson's career giving her a oscar nomination. She and Morest chestnut did an awesome job acting and there performances deserve the recognition. They merit the most acknowledgment for masking one of the worst cases of BFA. Kevin Hart's comedic performance did a great job covering some of the hemorrhaging plot line, which seems to be headed in a downward direction for the entire movie. Heres the summary of the movie: The marriage is good, the marriage goes bad, he has problems with the father of a boy on his baseball team, he randomly, yet magically fixes his marriage, the father helps his son. There is a complete disconnection between the problems and the solutions. They seem to just fix themselves offering no real solution. If you look at this movie on the surface or from a psychological stand point, it is great because the movie focuses more on the day-to-day emotions rather than the big picture. This is a classic case of BFA.
If BFA is the AIDS then Tyler Perry is definitely the HIV. Tyler Perry has done an excellent job establishing a career for himself considering his background. His plays were hilarious, but when he started making movies is when his creditability, in my opinion, began to slowly drop then free fall. Tyler Perry's, "Diary of A Mad Black" was a decent film to begin his movie making debut, but some of his follow up films like, "Meet the Browns," "Daddy's Little Girls," and "Why did I get Married," were festering with BFA. "Meet the Browns" being the worst case I have ever seen. In addition to the usual signs of BFA, "Meet the Browns" was also poorly filmed. For instance did anyone else notice the microphone at the top of the screen in random scenes throughout the film. This amateur work discredits black films, but it didn't seem to slow Mr. Perry's career.
I could break down each of Tyler Perry's films and reiterate and analyze the symptoms of the BFA, but I'll spare you the reading, suffice it to say that once you know its there you will be able to see it for yourself.
The purpose of this post is not to dissuade you from seeing black movies, but rather inform you or make you aware of the of the BFA crisis. Black film Atrophy is not curable, but it is containable. We as a community need to expect more from the black film makers and writers. Just because they try to relate to black people by adding some of the struggles that affect black people today, it does not excuse them from having decent plot lines. My challenge to you is to see past conventional black humor, the strong christian over tones, and the over emotional acting and see these films for what they are, meat-less.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Tyra Banks is an Idiot

Does anyone else see how stupid Tyra Banks is. Am I the only one questioning why she has her own show. In the past talk shows were hosted by people who were actually interesting or have something to say to the world.

Tyra is a 35 year old woman who hasn't had kids, has never been married, and has had nothing significantly tragic or inspiring happen to her. However, for some reasons, she feels she has the authority to give advice to people who experienced more than her.

Tyra just because you were raised in a loving home does not give you the right to dictate or advise what people should do in there home. Under this logic everyone who went to school is qualified to teach. For instance you told a woman that she should not allow her daughter to sleep in the same room as her boyfriend. The woman was trying to tell you that there going to do it anyway because she is not there most of the time. Do you have kids. Are you really telling a woman who has kids what is best for her kids.
I'll give credit where credit is due, she was a beautiful model, her stories on the show are good, and she knows what she is talking about when it comes to modeling. That doesn't add up to a talk show host though. If you actively watch the show Tyra picks easy clear sided topics and then gives obvious advice. She say nothing in site full or different, she just adds a "Guuurrrrllll" or a corny joke.
One of her more irritating qualities is she is so fake. She goes on her trying so hard to be Oprah and trying so hard to relate to everyone that we are left with nothing real. The only actual thing Tyra Banks was upset about was being called fat. While I think the feeling was genuine, the emotion was for ratings. Her fakeness was most evident when she had a show about conquering fears. A woman was scared of birds and Tyra was pretending to be scared of birds to comfort her. It came off soooooo disingenuous that a two year old could see it. On top of that she tries to act black, or be down, but in the next breath every other word is ''like'' or ''Oh my God." This is how you can tell when she has no clue what she is talking about, watch her eyes. She starts to franticly blink her eyes. She gives her advice and the crowd sits quietly trying to understand what the hell she is talking about. One time she asked a guest what she would wish for if she had a magic wand. As she continued to speak, she continued to make less and less sense. I understand what she was trying to get at, but how she went about doing it (while blinking madly) shows just how stupid Tyra really is. In conclusion, the next time you watch the Tyra Banks Show pay close attention to what she says, how she acts, and remember this woman knows little outside the world of modeling. Tell your friends, expose her stupidity. Tyra Banks is a fake, uneducated, pee-brained has-been model, who has only gotten to where she is because of her looks. (which aren’t that great)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

kid kudi bears


Chronicles of a Pissed off Employee

I was working at a concession stand type food service section of a major department store, when this customer walks up.

Woman: Hey can I get a number 1

Jo: Sorry We don't have numbers ma'am do you want a popcorn combo?

Jo's thought: Are you blind? Obviously that's the price next to the picture of the popcorn. Can't you see the "$1.50". Bitch, I'll tell you what I can get you some god damn glasses.

Woman: Oh well give me that

Jo's thought: "Give me that" I'll tell you what I can give you, a number to a nutritionist because yo ass look like your keeping Baskin Robins open all by your damn self.

Jo: Alright that will be $1.62. (I bag the popcorn and bring it back.)
Woman: $1.62 right? (the woman begins search through her purse for the money)
Jo's thought: I know this bitch didn't wait until right now to start getting her money ready
Woman: (After a brief waiting period she hands me the money) Thanks
Jo: Thank you. Have a Great day
Jo's thought: OH yeah and try not to eat the bag. I know its been over two minutes since your last feeding, but if you eat the bag you might not have room for the tub of ice cream that's calling your name this Friday night.
Transaction no. 374